As a family, our giving strategy had always been focused on faith-based charities.
We’d never given to colleges, hospitals, or civic organizations. We always figured that lots of other people did that, so we focused on our lane. But a few years ago, our lane changed. Our hearts changed. This is the story of how it happened.
When I was 12 years old, I was diagnosed with a heart defect that required surgery and was referred to the University of Iowa Hospitals. Back then, they didn’t have the tools or procedures they have now. When you were in the hospital for the type of surgery I had, you stayed for a long time.
One Saturday afternoon, I was feeling sorry for myself and alone. I remember walking down the hallway in the old pediatric wing to where there was a small window overlooking the stadium. I could barely see the north end zone. But I could easily see thousands of people in and around the stadium eating, cheering, and partying. None of them knew I was there or understood my circumstances.
Fast forward to when I was 55. I was at a show at the Civic Center, and I couldn’t get my binoculars to focus. I thought I needed new glasses, but it turned out that I had Ocular Melanoma, an exceedingly rare form of eye cancer. Amazingly, one of the five top specialists in the country was at the University of Iowa. Again, it was the right place to be.
The treatment on the tumor was successful, but the long-term prognosis was tough – a 50 percent survival rate in the first five years.
What Do You Need Most From Me?
As you can imagine, this news greatly impacted my family. Shortly after the surgery, we all gathered around the firepit at home, and I asked the question, “If I only have three years left, what do you need most from me?”
I met with each family member over the next few weeks, and they told me what they needed. We had great conversations and incredible emotional connection.
As part of the process, we started reassessing where we wanted to be generous. Ultimately, we decided to help U of I Hospitals create a fund for my doctor who is a leading researcher on Ocular Melanoma. The fund also has become a catalyst for others to financially support the research.
Life circumstances pushed us in a direction we hadn’t been in before. Sometimes, reality trumps tradition. Sometimes, you need to let go of the things that have dictated the past and listen to your heart.
I Happen to Bleed Cardinal and Gold.
It’s incredibly ironic that the first check we’ve given to an educational institution was to the University of Iowa. You see, I’m not only an Iowa State graduate, I was also the mascot. I was CY!
But I learned that, sometimes, you need to let go of the things that have dictated the past and listen to your heart. You will always remember and celebrate every tradition and opportunity that brought you to where you are today. But you can also step forward into new actions and generosity that may have a positive impact for generations to come.
The Wave. That’s Me.
Still being an Iowa State fan, I think The Wave is one of the most meaningful traditions that happens in sports. If you don’t know, it happens during the break between the first and second quarters of a Hawkeye football game. Everyone on the field and in the stands (even the opposing team and their fans) waves to the kids on the upper floors of the new Stead Family Children’s Hospital.
When I look up and see the faces of those kids, I remember myself as a 12-year-old, standing at the end of a hallway. Looking out a small window. Thinking that no one knew I was there. It brings tears to my eyes seeing the kids waving back to thousands of people who are saying, “We see you!”
I’m reminded how life circumstances can inform your heart and inspire change.
My advice? Listen to your heart. Follow where it’s taking you.
And go Cyclones!
