One of the greatest relational tools a person should have ready to use at any given moment is the tool I call the “Disruptive Question”. At first blush, it doesn’t sound too appealing, does it? But the premise behind this tool is to ask a question that causes the person you are engaging to stop and think. It is the kind of question that causes the other person’s eyes to drift up in contemplation. It is a question that challenges them to think outside the box or to process how they might think about their life or a particular topic.
It is amazing what a good question can do to change the scope of a conversation. Imagine sitting with a friend, enjoying a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and asking one of these questions:
“What makes you pound the table with emotion right now?”
“What is the one obstacle that keeps you from really chasing after a dream you have?”
At first, the question may stop the conversation. But wait… don’t be intimidated by silence. A good question deserves a few moments of silence, because what follows could evolve into the kind of discussion that changes a relationship and shapes the scope of your conversations in the future.
This thinking is what lies behind the most crucial part of our planning relationship; the Discovery Meeting. We try to ask enough of the right questions to cause the client to really examine the way they look at money and what they want it to do for them, their family and the causes they believe in. However, without good questions, the answers many go undiscovered. All new clients experience this as they go through the on-boarding process with Foster Group. It helps us know them and serve them better. Clients who have been with us and not gone through the discovery process are all given the opportunity to step back and go through what we call “Re-Discovery.” If you haven’t been through our discovery process and you would like that experience, give us a call and schedule an appointment with your advisor.
In the meantime, think about your “Disruptive Questions” and be ready for some stimulating conversations.
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